Apr 28, 2006

A Small Step For Mankind

... a giant leap for me:D Ahem.

Risking my music sage reputation, I bring to your attention one of the Spirit OST songs. This is not a great song (unlike others referred to here^^) but it's part of my personal beauty web. It is a piece of the thread I hope to see in heaven. It has something of the 'secret signature of each soul' (C.S. Lewis), hidden now, hopefully revealed one day. Mordred speaks of a similar emotion here. If I had to choose one word, it would be 'longing'.

Bryan Adams - Brothers Under the Sun

I had a dream - of the wide open prairie
I had a dream - of the pale morning sky
I had a dream - that we flew on golden wings
And we were the same - just the same - you and I
Follow your heart - little child of the west wind
Follow the voice - that's calling you home
Follow your dreams - but always, remember me
I am your brother - under the sun

We are like birds of a feather
We are two hearts joined together
We will be forever as one
My brother under the sun

Wherever you hear - the wind in the canyon
Wherever you see - the buffalo run
Wherever you go - I'll be there beside you
Cos you are my brother - my brother under the sun

And maybe, just maybe, it reminds me of the landscape in The Great Divorce.

Apr 27, 2006

Symbolic Bond

I have been awarded a medal!

The High Commissariat of the Extreme Micro Sage Efficiency Facility awards you
for exceptional perseverance and extraordinary achievement in provoking admiration boosts
and high morale among the allied world domination army ranks.

Go figure:D

Apr 26, 2006

Dreams. Yes. Dreams.

Take me to the forest, take me to the sea,
Take me anywhere as long as you take me
Pain of Salvation

This is the greenest forest you've ever seen. With the loveliest trees, the softest grass and moss. Now imagine the forest rotate and turn into a steep slope. The trees open to form a trail. The trail transforms into a stream bed, scattered with glittering white stones. Then, out of nowhere, water gushes and floods the stones, the moss…

This is my path. This is the kayaking route. Instead of craggy rocks on both sides are the trees, their brownish bark almost unseen in the mass of greenery. I am in a tiny little boat at the top of the hill, ready to plunge. I’m doing it of my own volition, enticed by the long and almost vertical drop. Danger beckons me, green brilliance dazzles me.

And the next thing I know I am flying down, wind in my hair, gripping the sides of the boat, almost screaming with delight. Then the water is gone and I’m flying on a kind of invisible field through which I can still see the white stones. I am close enough to the ground to be scared of hitting it, but for some reason I’m not.

Suddenly, I realize I’m not alone in the boat. And here the dream turns wild, reality trickles in, and I remember I wanted to dream this before I fell asleep. (Yeah, first attempt at lucid dreaming, first success! Phear my mind power:D) I don’t recall what he said but I remember how he touched my lips with his fingers and looked at me, long and hard. I remember his embrace as the boat tumbled and hit the trees and the stones repeatedly, until it landed on forbidden ground and police came to question us. Finally, we were free to go, and here the memory ends.

What’s the use of dream recall? I still ache at the beauty of the emotion, but I know at the end of the day it will be gone. Now I can talk of synapses and REM, but I choose not to. Scientific research explains phenomena but cannot (and should not) take the mystery away. Dreams make us aware that we’re not just balls of clay rotating around the sun. They provide an alternative reality, they heal us (especially nightmares), inspire us (ask poets), and, very rarely, spur us to action. I dreamt of my apartment the night after I first saw it with the real estate agent. And I signed the preliminary contract on the next day.^_^ But this is an exception. Don’t try this at home;)

Do I want to pursue last night’s dream? Will I say 'music is best', over and over again?
I close my eyes.

Apr 24, 2006

Jethro Tull Have A Song About Me

Ok, a song about me-as-I-want-to-be:)

Jethro Tull - Bends Like A Willow

She's catching the wind: the gentlest of breezes.
It's a sensitive passage she's sailing -
Through stormy straits, navigates my unfathomable failings.

She rises before me, reading me clearly.
Empty nest left pressed in the pillow.
She can shift, she can sway
and bend like a willow.

I'm swept in the riptide, caught in a fish trap.
Gift-wrapped in my soft self centre.
Summer sun leaves me as one who can only taste winter.
She's a good, a good God-send: she can bend like a willow.

With a fully armed angel to cover me quickly
I'm cool under enemy fire.
If I fall, she can crawl right under the wire.

When I'm caustic and cold, she might dare to be bold -
ease me round to her warm way of thinking:
fill me up from the cup of love that she's drinking.
And I find, given time, I can bend like a willow.
She bends like a willow.
Bends like a willow.
Like a willow.

Help. I couldn't find a sample of this song. It is from Tull's album Dot Com. What do I do to upload samples *ahem* of music?

Sample without *ahem*. Thanks. You will like Jethro Tull's flute I suspect:)

Apr 23, 2006

Easter Sunday

From the Gospel of St Luke
Chapter 24

1. А в първия ден на седмицата, много рано, носейки приготвените благовония, те дойдоха при гроба, а заедно с тях и някои други,
2. ала намериха камъка отвален от гроба.
3. И като влязоха, не намериха тялото на Господа Иисуса.
4. И докле недоумяваха за това, ето, изправиха се пред тях двама мъже в бляскави дрехи.
5. И както бяха уплашени и навели лице към земята, - мъжете им рекоха: защо търсите Живия между мъртвите?
6. Няма Го тука, но възкръсна; припомнете си, какво ви бе казал, когато беше още в Галилея,
7. говорейки, че Син Човеческий трябва да бъде предаден в ръце на човеци грешници и да бъде разпнат и на третия ден да възкръсне.
8. И спомниха си думите Му.
9. И като се върнаха от гроба, обадиха всичко това на единайсетте и на всички други.
10. Те бяха Магдалина Мария, и Иоана, и Мария, майка на Иакова, и другите с тях, които обадиха на апостолите за това.
11. И техните думи им се показаха празни, и не им повярваха.

Please note that the first evangelists were women:)

And this is my favorite passage from J.R.R. Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings. I find it as inspired and inspiring as parts of the Bible.

" ... For I will sing to you of Frodo of the Nine Fingers and the Ring of Doom.

And when Sam heard that he laughed aloud for sheer delight, and he stood up and cried: 'O great glory and splendour! And all my wishes have come true!' And then he wept.

And all the host laughed and wept, and in the midst of their merriment and tears the clear voice of the minstrel rose like silver and gold, and all the men were hushed. And he sang to them, now in the Elven-tongue, now in the speech of the West, until their hearts, wounded with sweet words, overflowed, and their joy was like swords, and they passed in thought out to regions where pain and delight flow together and tears are the very wine of blessedness."

Music is best.

The Orthodox Easter Song:

Христос воскресе из мертвих,
смертию смерт поправ
и сущим во гробех живот даровав.

Христос възкръсна от мъртвите,
със смъртта си смъртта победи
и на тия, които са в гробовете, дарува живот!

Christ is risen from the dead,
trampling death by death,
and bestowing life to those in the tombs!

Apr 21, 2006


This account is so incoherent, it must be true. Have you ever heard an eye-witness?

From the Gospel of St Mathew Chapter 27

27. След това войниците управителеви взеха Иисуса в преторията, събраха срещу Него цялата чета войници
28. и, като Го съблякоха, облякоха Му багреница;
29. и сплетоха венец от тръни, наложиха Му го на главата и Му дадоха в дясната ръка тръст; и като заставаха пред Него на колене, присмиваха Му се и думаха: радвай се, Царю Иудейски!
30. И след като Го заплюха, взеха тръстта и Го биеха по главата.
31. И след като Му се наприсмяха, съблякоха Му багреницата, облякоха Му Неговите дрехи и Го поведоха на разпятие.
32. А като излизаха, срещнаха един киринеец, на име Симон; него накараха да носи кръста Му.
33. И като стигнаха на мястото, наричано Голгота, което значи: лобно място, 34. дадоха Му да пие оцет, смесен със жлъчка; но Той вкуси и не иска да пие.
35. А след като Го разпнаха, разделиха дрехите Му, хвърляйки жребие; за да се изпълни реченото от пророка: "разделиха дрехите Ми помежду си и за облеклото Ми хвърлиха жребие";
36. и седяха, та Го пазеха там;
37. и туриха над главата Му надпис, който показваше вината Му: Този е Иисус, Царят Иудейски.
38. Тогава бидоха разпнати с Него двама разбойници: единият отдясно, а другият отляво.
39. А минувачите Го хулеха, като клатеха глава
40. и думаха: Ти, Който разрушаваш храма, и в три дни го съзиждаш, спаси Себе Си! Ако си Син Божий, слез от кръста!
41. Също и първосвещениците заедно с книжниците и стареите и фарисеите се присмиваха и думаха:
42. други спаси, а Себе Си не може да спаси. Ако Той е Цар Израилев, нека сега слезе от кръста, и ще повярваме в Него;
43. надяваше се на Бога, нека сега Го избави, ако Му е угоден; понеже бе казал: Син Божий съм.
44. Също Го хулеха и разбойниците, разпнати с него.
45. А от шестия час настана тъмнина по цялата земя до деветия час;
46. а около деветия час Иисус извика с висок глас: Или! Или! лама савахтани? сиреч, Боже Мой, Боже Мой! Защо си Ме оставил?
47. Някои от стоещите там, като чуха, казваха: Той вика Илия.
48. И веднага един от тях се затече, взе гъба, натопи я в оцет и, като я надяна на тръст, даваше Му да пие;
49. другите пък думаха: чакай, да видим, дали ще дойде Илия да Го избави.
50. А Иисус, като извика пак с висок глас, изпусна дух.
51. И ето, храмовата завеса се раздра на две, отгоре додолу; и земята се потресе; и скалите се разпукаха;
52. и гробовете се разтвориха; и много тела на починали светии възкръснаха;
53. и като излязоха из гробовете подир възкресението Му, влязоха в светия град и се явиха на мнозина.
54. А стотникът и ония, които с него заедно пазеха Иисуса, като видяха земетресението и всичко станало, твърде много се уплашиха и думаха: наистина Божий Син е бил Тоя Човек!
55. Там бяха също и гледаха отдалеч много жени, които бяха последвали Иисуса от Галилея и Му служеха;
56. между тях бяха Мария Магдалина и Мария, майка на Иакова и Иосия, и майката на Зеведеевите синове.
57. А когато се свечери, дойде един богат човек от Ариматея, на име Иосиф, който също тъй беше ученик на Иисуса;
58. той отиде при Пилата и поиска тялото Иисусово. Тогава Пилат заповяда да предадат тялото;
59. а Иосиф, като взе тялото, обви Го в чиста плащаница
60. и Го положи в новия си гроб, който бе изсякъл в скалата; и като привали голям камък върху вратата гробни, отиде си.
61. А там беше Мария Магдалина и другата Мария, които седяха срещу гроба.

The taste of crucifixion can have many dimensions.
Sometimes the past gets you. And then nails you.

... I saw the future dressed as a stranger
love in a space-dye vest

Love is an act of blood and I'm bleeding
a pool in the shape of a heart...

Nothing Is As Dead As Yesterday's News

First Official Graphilla Awards Ceremony.

More images than words here.

Кърти мивки и избива рибата.

И после ходи разправяй, че си non-visual person.

Apr 20, 2006


From the Gospel of St Mathew

36. След това отива с тях Иисус на едно място, наричано Гетсимания, и казва на учениците: поседете тука, докле ида там да се помоля.
37. И като взе със Себе Си Петра и двамата Зеведееви синове, почна да скърби и да тъгува.
38. Тогава им казва Иисус: душата Ми е прескръбна до смърт; останете тук и бъдете будни с Мене.
39. И като се поотдалечи, падна на лицето Си, молеше се и думаше: Отче Мой, ако е възможно, нека Ме отмине тая чаша, обаче не както Аз искам, а както Ти.
40. И дохожда при учениците и ги намира да спят, и казва на Петра: толкоз ли не можахте един час да стоите будни с Мене?
41. Бъдете будни и се молете, за да не паднете в изкушение: духът е бодър, а плътта - немощна.
42. Пак като се отдалечи повторно, помоли се, казвайки: Отче Мой, ако не може Ме отмина тая чаша, без да я изпия, нека бъде Твоята воля.
43. А като дойде, намира ги пак да спят, понеже очите им бяха натегнали.
44. И като ги остави, отдалечи се пак и се помоли трети път, като каза същите думи.

And again, JCS:

I Only Want To Say (Gethsemane)

[In the garden at Gethsemane]

I only want to say
If there is a way
Take this cup away from me
For I don't want to taste its poison
Feel it burn me,
I have changed I'm not as sure
As when we started
Then I was inspired
Now I'm sad and tired
Listen surely I've exceeded
Tried for three years
Seems like thirty
Could you ask as much
From any other man?

But if I die
See the saga through
And do the things you ask of me
Let them hate me, hit me, hurt me
Nail me to their tree
I'd want to know
I'd want to know my God
I'd want to know
I'd want to know my God
I'd want to see
I'd want to see my God
I'd want to see
I'd want to see my God
Why I should die
Would I be more noticed
Than I ever was before?
Would the things I've said and done
Matter any more?
I'd have to know
I'd have to know my Lord
I'd have to know
I'd have to know my Lord
I'd have to see
I'd have to see my Lord
I'd have to see
I'd have to see my Lord

If I die what will be my reward?
If I die what will be my reward?
I'd have to know
I'd have to know my Lord
I'd have to know
I'd have to know my Lord

Why, why should I die?
Oh, why should I die?
Can you show me now
That I would not be killed in vain?
Show me just a little
Of your omnipresent brain
Show me there's a reason
For your wanting me to die
You're far too keen on where and how
But not so hot on why
Alright I'll die!
Just watch me die!
See how, see how I die!
Oh, just watch me die!

Then I was inspired
Now I'm sad and tired
After all I've tried for three years
Seems like ninety
Why then am I scared
To finish what I started
What you started
I didn't start it
God thy will is hard
But you hold every card
I will drink your cup of poison
Nail me to your cross and break me
Bleed me, beat me
Kill me, take me now
Before I change my mind...

This is the song that sent me to a journey to Christ. It is still one of my favorite songs.

Music is best.

Of Wolf And Man

Award-winning GW player Hellen Frost is now rank 6!

For the uninitiated: Rank in Guild Wars is a system of merit, based on fame, achieved by victories in 'Hero's Ascent' - 8v8 PvP area, where the aim is to win the Hall of Heroes after a number of consecutive wins on different maps. When your team of eight wins a battle in the Hall of Heroes, a message is displayed *everywhere* in the game. Pretty cool, huh:)

The emote for rank 3 is a deer, rank 6 - a wolf, rank 9 - a tiger, rank 12 - a phoenix.

Rank 1 = 25 fame
Rank 2 = 75 fame
Rank 3 = 180 fame
Rank 4 = 360 fame
Rank 5 = 600 fame
Rank 6 = 1000 fame
Rank 7 = 1680 fame
Rank 8 = 2800 fame
Rank 9 = 4700 fame
Rank 10 = 7750 fame
Rank 11 = 11900 fame
Rank 12 = 20000 fame

A quote from the forums:

Rank doesn't mean you have a good guild and nothing else. It doesn't mean you have no life beyond Arenanet's servers. It means you've done, and subsequently learned from things an unranked player simply hasn't.

And a few words from an unranked player (me).

It means your have put in time, effort, and skill in a *legitimate* pastime, and have reaped the rewards. It means that you have knowledge, flexibility, and pure talent. It means that you have self-discipline, ambition, and persistence enough to reach this level. It means you're a pro:).

Now, the ability to experience joy for the sake of another person is a gift.

I have been watching Frost since her Day One in GW, and she has helped me tremendously to learn the game and have fun in the process. For about six months she's been playing a different game altogether, the high-end PvP (my PvP experience is limited to 4v4 combat) but she has been enough part of my gaming experience to be able to congratulate her as a proud teammate:D

Happy rank, Frost. You made my day:) Good luck and have fun.

Apr 19, 2006


From the Gospel of St Luke

And behold, a woman who was in the city, a sinner; and when she knew that he was sitting at meat in the Pharisee's house, she brought an alabaster cruse of ointment,
and standing behind at his feet, weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears, and wiped them with the hair of her head, and kissed his feet, and anointed them with the ointment.
39Now when the Pharisee that had bidden him saw it, he spake within himself, saying, This man, if he were a prophet, would have perceived who and what manner of woman this is that toucheth him, that she is a sinner.
And Jesus answering said unto him, Simon, I have somewhat to say unto thee. And he saith, Teacher, say on.
A certain lender had two debtors: the one owed five hundred shillings, and the other fifty. 42When they had not wherewith to pay, he forgave them both. Which of them therefore will love him most?
Simon answered and said, He, I suppose, to whom he forgave the most. And he said unto him, Thou hast rightly judged.
And turning to the woman, he said unto Simon, Seest thou this woman? I entered into thy house, thou gavest me no water for my feet: but she hath wetted my feet with her tears, and wiped them with her hair.
Thou gavest me no kiss: but she, since the time I came in, hath not ceased to kiss my feet.
46My head with oil thou didst not anoint: but she hath anointed my feet with ointment. 47Wherefore I say unto thee, Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little.
And he said unto her, Thy sins are forgiven.
49And they that sat at meat with him began to say within themselves, Who is this that even forgiveth sins?
50 And he said unto the woman, Thy faith hath saved thee; go in peace.

In musical translation:

It seems to me a strange thing, mystifying
That a man like you can waste his time on women of her kind
Yes I can understand that she amuses
But to let her kiss you, stroke your hair, that's hardly in your line
It's not that I object to her profession
But she doesn't fit in well with what you teach and say
It doesn't help us if you are inconsistent
They only need a small excuse to put us all away


Who are you to criticise her? Who are
you to despise her?
Leave her, leave her, let her be now
Leave her, leave her, she's with me now
If your slate is clean - then you can
throw stones
If your slate is not then leave her alone.

Andrew Lloyd Webber - JCS

Forgiveness is possible only with the awareness of sin/error/fuckup/missing the mark.
Despair, besides one of the Endless, is a sin too. That's why we need a miracle.

Apr 18, 2006

OMG A Birdy!

My kids just loved this. Made funny comments like the above;)
Still, it is so beautiful it gave me goose bumps.

My son also said: There's a mama!
And on a completely unrelated note, last night he told me he loved me.

Apr 16, 2006

The Queen Became Shameless...

... she did it with a chair.
Two chairs even better:P

Apr 14, 2006

I See Old People...

They don't know they are old...

I'm thinking of two categories of old people, one of young people (younger than me, that is) who think and behave as if they were 65, and the other - old people who somehow manage to live as if age didn't matter.

Like this one.

Or this one.

My best bet. She wears the same dress as my late grandmother. Her name was Sultana, by the way, I am named after her. Roughly:D

A few months ago, I had a memorable conversation with a friend's friend in my kitchen (yeah, all memorable conversations take place there;). He's ten years younger than me but all his troubling experiences somehow aged him, deprived him of pleasure, health, optimism. To me he looked unusually wise for his age, but his limpness almost repelled me, and I am hard to repel. He told me that inside I was much younger than him, which struck me as preposterous. I'm living like an old age pensioner, after all. Stay at home all the time, groan when I do the housework, think of death more often than the average person. What made him say that? What is the quality of life or personality that makes us look (and feel) a certain age?

I think we let our lives be ruled by stereotypes, especially in terms of age. By the age of __ I will do___. This makes us feel normal. Normal teenagers do certain things, normal middle-age people other things. That's ok, we need a point of reference when thinking about others, but I am interested in the extent to which our perception of ourselves is influenced by the number of candles on the cake. Maybe if we think of ourselves as immortal souls, sheltered in a mortal body, our horror of aging will subside? Maybe not. I still shudder at the memory of a scene in the book Thornbirds by Colleen McCullough, when the old bitch wanted to kiss the young priest, and he pulled away, she told him something in the lines of: 'Inside this ugly old body I'm still young'... Sometimes stereotypes _are_ the right attitude.

There's an old lady living in my building. She gives me the creeps because I'll be like her, when I grow old. She is about 65-70, looks nice, walks slowly, sometimes smells of alcohol. She looks sophisticated, intelligent, and very lonely. I am almost sure that her dreamy look is not because she's drunk. She's simply... on a ride.

AC/DC - Ride On

It's another lonely evenin',
In another lonely town
But I ain't too young to worry,
Nah I ain't too old to cry,
When a woman gets me down
Got another empty bottle,
Mmmm n' another empty bed
Ain't too young to admit it,
Nah I'm not too old to lie,
I'm just another empty head
Mmmm that's why I'm lonely... I'm so lonely
But I know what I'm gonna do-

I'm gonna ride on, ride on...
(Ride on) Standin' on the edge of the road...
(Ride on) Thumb in the air...
(Ride on) One of these days...
(Ride on) I'm gonna change my evil ways, huh...
Till then, I'll just keep - ridin' on...


Broke another promise,
N' I broke another heart
But I ain't too young to realize,
That I ain't too old to try,
Try to get back to the start
And it's another red light nightmare,
On another red light street
And I ain't too old to hurry,
'Cause I ain't too old to die,
But I sure am hard to beat
But I'm lonely... Lord, I'm lonely...
What am I gonna do?

(Ride on, ride on)
Got myself a one-way ticket...
(Ride on, ride on)
Goin' the wrong way...
(Ride on) Gonna change my evil ways...
(Ride on) One of the days...
One of these days...

The obligatory cheesy lyrics on the topic of the correlation between young and old:D
I had this album on a RECORD, btw, not cassette tape. God, I am not old, I'm ANCIENT:P

Apr 12, 2006

Secret Window, Secret Garden

VAST - Desert Garden

Do you feel like I do,
Tired of everything?
Can you feel what I can
Almost everything?

I wanna leave today
The sky is big and my life is small
I wanna leave with you
So we can build a perfect garden

The stars are far away
I can see them with my eyes
I watch them fade away
Like the moments of my life

I wanna leave today
The sky is big and my life is small
I wanna leave with you
So we can build a desert garden

VAST stands for Visual Audio Sensual Theater. It is.

Announcement: Sensuality topic. Soon.

Apr 11, 2006

8 v 8: Mission Complete

Dark Blue Beauty - Enchantment Spell. For 1 to 4 days you gain happiness regeneration of 5.

There is a banner on my Audioscrobbler page saying: Clothes that make you think^^. Thinking is not one of my strengths, mind you.

I had this argument with a friend two years ago, trying to defend my opinion that clothes are irrelevant. I failed:D Honest to God, I don't notice clothes, unless I make a conscious effort. For years, I assumed that the same is valid for other people. Apparently, it isn't, and my solipsistic defiance of fashion and the importance of clothes goes down the drain. Now.

I kept the promise I made in this post. Eye-witnesses claim that I looked mesmerizing in my dark blue mesmer dress. Once in a blue moon, I _can_ dress sharp, put on makeup, high heels and hip jewelry. I saw some photos and I thought that this image is so far removed from my perception of myself that the clash of inner and outer appearance is almost deafening. But then again, I wanted exactly this effect. I wanted to celebrate variety. For a change, I spent lots of time and money on my outfit, and the results, according to the audience, were rewarding.

Guess why I did the whole thing? Because a friend of mine used reverse psychology and claimed I couldn't do it. It worked. Nothing motivates me better than this;)

So, I had this party with tons of people who looked at me (I hate being the center of attention, too), and managed to be very happy. I know I should use more sophisticated language to describe this sophisticated experience, but I'm still happy and I can't. Utterly joyful and relaxed, despite the humiliating trip to the tax office yesterday. One plausible reason for that is the gift I received from some friends: two loudspeakers and an amplifier. Thank you. Really really. After all, knowing others and loving them is not such an impossible mission. Refuted on two fronts, I smile and turn up the volume.

Last but not least, I was kissed by the majority of male guests. It has been ... mm ... a long time since I was last kissed by a male older than 3:D

Apr 9, 2006

Not The Post You Expected

Good news bringer is my middle name:D

A friend of mine has won the Best Story Competition for the newest player on the Bulgarian game development market. Did I say competition?;)

He wants to sell the award btw. Contact me if interested.^_^

Apr 6, 2006

Images Without Words

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Personal favorite - a Tolkien tree.

And some fabulous sunsets.

Apr 4, 2006

Serenity Prayer (extended version)

The origins of Serenity Prayer seem to be unclear.

It became famous as theologian Reinhold Niebuhr used it in a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace.
Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it.
Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His will.
That I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with Him forever in the next.
And mentioning AA, I guess I should list the 12 steps, used also by other recovery programs, for example NA.

Twelve Steps

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol; that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

The text of the 12 steps has often been modified to suit the needs of non-religious people^^.

Apr 3, 2006

Cloudy Now?

Blackfield - Cloudy Now


In a violent place we can call our country
Is a mixed up man and I guess that's me
The sun's in the sky but the storm never seems to end
It's a place of sorrow but we call it a home
And the darkest thoughts, yeah I guess they're my own
There's wealth in the bank but there's nothing to show inside

It's cloudy now (x3)
It's getting cloudy now

In a special place that I call my life
The father was cruel and he lost his wife
But I don't see either cos I live across the street
It's a beautiful thing when it starts to rain
A man who drinks just to drown the pain
And I can't stop from dreaming there's something else

We are a fucked up generation
It's cloudy now
We gotta get out of here
It's cloudy now

(LYRICS - Steven Wilson and Aviv Geffen)

It's the weather, nothing but the weather:D
Two things to cheer us up:

Today's Webshots Photo


Omg it's truly and verily the 21st century!