Yuletide

Winter Solstice, the magical time of the year, when the cavern Yu sings, the birth of the Sun is celebrated, the New Year begins, and a Savior is born unto the world. I guess believing all these things makes me a little like the Queen from Through the Looking Glass who, with practice, believed six impossible things before breakfast;)

How much do we care about season changes? For thousands of years the regular course of the Earth around the Sun (or vice versa) has influenced the lives of its inhabitants. Not anymore. Festivities have lost their mystery, and we are left with a couple of days off work and plans where to go. And Christmas cards and presents, which... I... haven't... bought... yet. Aaargh.

Or maybe it's just me that cannot sense the mystery. Maybe there is a hell of good universe next door, in the words of e.e.cummings. Maybe if I am silent for long enough I will feel the holiness of the night. Maybe if enough people call 'Glory to God in the Highest', there will be peace to his people on earth. Maybe music can save someone from substance addiction. Maybe passing on your genes to the next generation is a sufficient reason to live, according to the book on evolution I'm reading now. Maybe good wishes do carry the power to change reality. Ok, I broke the Queen's record, enough is enough;)

Flashback: Three years ago I was alone on Christmas and New Year's Eve. My son was a 7 -month fetus, I had just bought my apartment, and was in the middle of translating the second volume of Orson Scott Card's Tales of Alvin Maker, which by the way has not seen publication yet. This is what I choose to remember, although of course I can twist the memory the other way and recall the pain, the loneliness, and despair. But I won't:) See, one of the impossible things I believe is that we shape our lives in our mind. Call it self-delusion, call it wishful thinking, I don't... mind:D

This year, I'll remember the good stuff, too. I'll remember the happy voices of my kids singing songs about Santa Claus, my son's wish for a crane and a piano, my daughter's shining eyes when I came back with Mulan video (part of my recent Chinese obsession). I'll remember the 'Christmas office party' I had with some friends at home. (I work from home so I don't have any real co-workers, but these were people I chat with while working, exactly what you'd do in a real office.) It was a good evening, which started at about 9 pm and ended at 7 am when the kids woke up. :) If we do it more often, then we'll stick to more reasonable lengths of conversation, was my conclusion. But then again, maybe not:) Anyway, the experiment needs to be repeated to verify the result, and next time I will play more socially acceptable music, I promise!

I hope to have more good stuff to remember... Happy Christmas.