Jul 18, 2005

Sweet Dreams Are Made of This

To escape or not to escape, that is the question. Escapism is not necessarily bad, as any diversion or hobby can be dubbed 'escapism'. After all, we read novels and watch movies, which are not 'real' per se. I have found gaming to be an alternative to other pastimes, a fun way to use what little spare time I have. On average, I spend about 2 hours playing every day. Oops. One of the signs of addiction is that you begin lying about the quantity of the consumed substance and the frequency of your indulgence.
This is my first monster slaying game in which I die. I have died over 300 times with my 3 characters. Freudians would have something to say on the topic of death wishes:P Seriously, I will never forget the first time I went into cooperative mission, or the first time on PvP arena. There's always a first, but at my time of life, firsts don't come easy:) I'm starting to overcome the constraints of my lack of gaming background. In other words, I'm getting better all the time, which is very encouraging. It turns out I need a lot of praise and flattery. I have always known I am very bad at losing, and will have to learn to handle this at some point, but not right now;) Right now: http://guildwars.com 4 teh win:)
I just remembered an old song which says 'Dying ain't much of a living when you're living on the run'. I'm living on the run, life is hectic and full of things to do, and I'm exhausted most of the time. I need regeneration, and while physically late night battles do not help much, mentally the game works wonders for me. I just read a review of World of Warcraft which among other things said 'I'm in love with this game'. Well, I fear my definition of 'falling in love' is highly ideosyncratic and most people tend to disagree with it, so I won't say I'm in love;) Suffice it to say that mere thinking of the game makes me smile.
Some may argue it's cheap thrill seeking, and may be right. Thrill seeking is a vice I confess I am prone to:D However, it's more than that. It's and exciting learning experience, comparable to learning to drive or to climb. I love the process of starting something from scratch and working to perfect myself in it. The final result is not perfect but is still amazing. Completing a mission gives me a similar emotion to driving in the center of Sofia during the rush hour:) At the end of it I'm alive, I have 1000 experience, and one more skill point.
A friend told me that I bore him to death with talk about Guild Wars. I truly appreciate it when someone is so honest with me:) Only an Aries can get away with it, but then again, only an Aries will dare to say it:) Ok, maybe a few Gemini too;)
To cut the long story short, the game for me is a fascinating mixture of dreaming and acting, a place where I can unfold pieces of me which are stifled or undesirable in real life. Nothing wrong with sublimation, go go go uncle Freud! On the other hand, I am aware that I miss on one of the most important aspects of online gaming - socializing. I can't see anything exciting in meeting new people, period. Now, meeting RL friends in game, this is fun. Also, roleplaying a (male) teenager who plays online games, is even more fun!:) Some day, I will watch Hallmark and do tapestry, but not now. Thank God, not now.

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