Dec 7, 2004

Musings on Solipsism

"We all weigh and compare each other’s experiences with the desperation of people who feel one life is simply not enough. "

This is by no means the only quote which impressed me from a recently devoured collection of essays and poetry entitled 'Impossible to Ignore', but it seems appropriate for my topic.

It strikes me deep inside with its truth; bells ring so loud my head throbs;) And yet, I feel an impulse to disagree, or rather, contradict its implication that a confluence, or fusion of lives IS enough. No amount of experience shared can satisfy a hungry mind, or a thirsty soul. I am not trying to deny all possibility for communication (otherwise I would be thinking this instead of writing it;), but I am denying the level of fulfilment we achieve by interacting with other humans. I am aware of the importance of the community for individual growth, however, I challenge the humanist assumption that this is all there is:) To throw in a cliche, expanding horizontally is not enough, we need the vertical. Our one life may be puny and insignificant, but so is everybody else's. Multiplying human experience is enriching, but why not admit the likelihood that we are a function of an invisible Entity? Ooops, do I begin to sound like a New Age fanatic?

" Communication is one part forgery, two parts self-delusion, and yet real all the way through."

Great as a catchphrase, but what's real, then? Something which can live harmoniously next to forgery and self-delusion? No, thanks. If reality is verifiable by experience only, direct or indirect, then the definition of 'experience' must be really stretchy. The distinction between primary and secondary experiences , made elsewhere by the author of the above words, is workable, but somehow it bothers me. So, what happens to me is primary, what happens to you and the characters of a book, is secondary. I am the original, you are copies. I am the center of the universe, you are marginal. I am a creator, you are just creation material. The border between me and 'not-me', the line between subject and object is as eternal as the line between God and 'not-god' ... for theists, that is. And if God is capable of initiating contact with the creation, being all-powerful, are we, too, capable of contact with one another? In a world where we make up new images of ourselves by the minute, and pose them as 'me', the feeling of togetherness, the sense of belonging is anything but real.

"Although it is normally considered a great marker of psychological normalcy to be able to tell where your own life ends and other people’s lives begin, I believe that a careful traversal of the boundary enriches one’s existence incalculably"

This is an eye-opener;) (Definitions of normalcy have haunted me for quite some time, I even discussed the mathematical definitions of local normalcy and extremum with an expert in the field. I can see much better now I'm blind, period.) Tight personal territory and sturdy bounderies prove my sanity, as if other clues are not enough! My recent insistence on the benefits of isolation has led me to re-build the walls around me with state-of-the art bricks. I like windows, though. And incorporating these quotations in my text, of course, subverts the very idea of being on a virtual island:) So, I'll continue sending messages in bottles every few days or so, aka blogging. Solipsism is just a pose, after all:D


No comments: