Reply 1
Three teardrops were my answer
to your invited memory.
It could have been my memory.
I was 26 at the time,
I should remember more clearly,
but I guess I'm the forgetful kind.
All I can hear is the burst
of memories colliding.
Reply 2
you bet
but you don't know the odds
you don't know the stakes
and the length of the race
she is
a lover of edge-like spaces
a collector of border-line cases
a reader of shadowy faces
you bet
but you're too far ahead
you squint to read letters
fail to touch that crevice
she is
a mentor of all-time wannabes
a seeker of far-off galaxies
an avatar of reachable goddesses
Nov 18, 2004
Nov 11, 2004
Movie Review - A Lame Attempt
I just saw a Russian movie with English subtitles, and I laughed and laughed and laughed. The movie was "Come look at me", Prihodi na menya posmotret. The movie is about an old disabled lady who lives with her spinster daughter. The lady desperately wants her daughter to marry, and the daughter, driven by the supposed imminent death of her mother, invites a total stranger home and introduces him as her boyfriend. The man and the prospective mother-in-law like each other immediately, and he makes every effort to be liked by the daughter. With the intervention of a fantasy granddaughter, quasi-miraculous healing, and a lot of hilarious repartee in between, the movie has a happy ending, as Russian movies go. And Irina Kupchenko is beautiful...
I am hopeless at writing reviews:) Lately I come across movies which show middle-aged women looking great and falling in love: Something's Gotta Give, Pornographic Liaison, now this one. I wonder whether this is a sign that I should wait until I'm over 40 to fall in love:)
Middle age looms round the corner, regardless of what the mirror says... I am not sad, just amused.
Just to note that now the music's back I indulge in it like a maniac:) Current album: Ayreon, the Human Equation. Current song: Rainbow, Can't Let You Go.
New additions to my music: Tool, Wallflowers
I welcome recommendations for downloads, now that I am content, tolerant and only slightly apathetic;)
I am hopeless at writing reviews:) Lately I come across movies which show middle-aged women looking great and falling in love: Something's Gotta Give, Pornographic Liaison, now this one. I wonder whether this is a sign that I should wait until I'm over 40 to fall in love:)
Middle age looms round the corner, regardless of what the mirror says... I am not sad, just amused.
Just to note that now the music's back I indulge in it like a maniac:) Current album: Ayreon, the Human Equation. Current song: Rainbow, Can't Let You Go.
New additions to my music: Tool, Wallflowers
I welcome recommendations for downloads, now that I am content, tolerant and only slightly apathetic;)
Oct 28, 2004
Midweek Camping Mania
The mountain can touch Sofia if it reaches just a little bit.
Tired of waiting, I joined a group of insiders for a midweek foray into the woods. After an extremely fast but safe drive, we stopped at a small clearing next to a little stream. The only huge object visible was the full moon, gazing at us serene and inquiring.
We collected wood and lit a fire in the standard scout fashion. I was the slowest of all wood-gatherers, stumbled all the time. But I'm like this, really awkward with hands and feet alike. I liked the pile of wood. To me it signified care and forethought, hard work preceding pleasurable relaxation. I enjoyed the food we'd brought, however couldn't eat as much as the others. Eating is ok, but not among my top 5 choices for passing time.
Talk was much better. We had beer and wine, in moderation (yeah!), and discussed various unrelated topics. The one I seem to remember best was communication and reading people's faces. A friend claimed that online communication does not provide real insight into the other person, because you lack visual info. True, but. Visual info, I argued, sometimes just creates a facade and blocks the real personality. Body language can conceal emotions as well as revealing them, especially when self-control is good. Example: eye contact. Averted eyes are supposed to be a sign of insincerity and insecurity. However, I can force myself to look people straight in the eye and STILL be insecure and insincere. So, an observer may misinterpret visuals as surely as a reader - typed messages. Also, my argument ran, there is something about personality that cannot transpire behind looks. I call it 'underface', and I picture it as a rather unpleasant jelly-like substance just beneath the skin. I know it's anatomically unfeasible;) Still, virtual communication sometimes provides a shortcut to a person's head. And probing another's mind, when the face is invisible, often is both a challenge and a revelation.
There was other talk, of music, art and travelling.
Sleep in the tent was fitful and interrupted by conversations with the moon. The next morning I woke up much later than usual, and took a walk with two photographers who didn't have to hurry for work. I am really lucky to know people like this...
Back in Sofia we learned there had been an earthquake during the night. We missed it, we didn't see a bloodred moon. However, we saw something else. A world with a difference, in a secret place, at an unlikely time.
Tired of waiting, I joined a group of insiders for a midweek foray into the woods. After an extremely fast but safe drive, we stopped at a small clearing next to a little stream. The only huge object visible was the full moon, gazing at us serene and inquiring.
We collected wood and lit a fire in the standard scout fashion. I was the slowest of all wood-gatherers, stumbled all the time. But I'm like this, really awkward with hands and feet alike. I liked the pile of wood. To me it signified care and forethought, hard work preceding pleasurable relaxation. I enjoyed the food we'd brought, however couldn't eat as much as the others. Eating is ok, but not among my top 5 choices for passing time.
Talk was much better. We had beer and wine, in moderation (yeah!), and discussed various unrelated topics. The one I seem to remember best was communication and reading people's faces. A friend claimed that online communication does not provide real insight into the other person, because you lack visual info. True, but. Visual info, I argued, sometimes just creates a facade and blocks the real personality. Body language can conceal emotions as well as revealing them, especially when self-control is good. Example: eye contact. Averted eyes are supposed to be a sign of insincerity and insecurity. However, I can force myself to look people straight in the eye and STILL be insecure and insincere. So, an observer may misinterpret visuals as surely as a reader - typed messages. Also, my argument ran, there is something about personality that cannot transpire behind looks. I call it 'underface', and I picture it as a rather unpleasant jelly-like substance just beneath the skin. I know it's anatomically unfeasible;) Still, virtual communication sometimes provides a shortcut to a person's head. And probing another's mind, when the face is invisible, often is both a challenge and a revelation.
There was other talk, of music, art and travelling.
Sleep in the tent was fitful and interrupted by conversations with the moon. The next morning I woke up much later than usual, and took a walk with two photographers who didn't have to hurry for work. I am really lucky to know people like this...
Back in Sofia we learned there had been an earthquake during the night. We missed it, we didn't see a bloodred moon. However, we saw something else. A world with a difference, in a secret place, at an unlikely time.
Oct 22, 2004
Minus Music
I miss the music on my PC. About a month ago the ancient hardware went silent, and since then I have been writhing in abstinence. The new machine is being assembled now, but it is taking much too long even for someone like me, struggling to perfect the virtue of patience. Patience eludes me. I can wait for a long, long time, seemingly unperturbed, while on the inside the fires are burning, in anticipation of hell.
Whatever. Music turned out to have been a major player in my mind. I find I am constantly humming something under my breath, and the brain-jukebox is starting to croak from exhaustion. I miss musical shapes and tastes, the way music impacted everything I did. I miss my mp3 collection on my drive. Incidentally, my radio isn't working either, so I resort to VH1 and MTV. Which helps somewhat, but not too much, as I don't choose the songs. In my pre-silence period, I never used the 'shuffle' function. This probably means that I am a control freak, or, as someone concluded, I make poor playlists. So, I want to have lots of available choices, and then do a poor job of making the right ones. So much for self-reflection and analysis:)
Whatever. Music turned out to have been a major player in my mind. I find I am constantly humming something under my breath, and the brain-jukebox is starting to croak from exhaustion. I miss musical shapes and tastes, the way music impacted everything I did. I miss my mp3 collection on my drive. Incidentally, my radio isn't working either, so I resort to VH1 and MTV. Which helps somewhat, but not too much, as I don't choose the songs. In my pre-silence period, I never used the 'shuffle' function. This probably means that I am a control freak, or, as someone concluded, I make poor playlists. So, I want to have lots of available choices, and then do a poor job of making the right ones. So much for self-reflection and analysis:)
Right now, I feel like listening to the song Hey You (Pink Floyd), which is one of the saddest songs ever sung. There is a cover by Dream Theater but I don't remember it.
Together we stand, divided we fall - a recognition of a fact, or wishful thinking?
The choice of music, I have always known, can tell a lot about a person's character, viewpoint and mood. Music is utterly superfluous, it has no survival value for humans, therefore, I want to thank God for it. Truly you appreciate what you have after you lose it.
I'll end with The Doors:
When the music's over... turn off the lights.
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